When the reviewer wrote about the wondrous Hacienda, decades ago perhaps it was beautiful and exciting, a jewel of Isla Mujeres that travelers from across the world should see and enjoy. (I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt.)

Let me give you the updated version – it’s the third-world version of Belle Isle, the “Jewel of Detroit.” (Yes, Detroit does claim to have a jewel, and yes, it’s what you’d expect.) La Hacienda is an overgrown backyard marginally more appealing than a weed-choked parking lot.

Is that too harsh? Perhaps so, but the descriptions made it sound like a fascinating place to visit, and the reality was far from it.

Let me put it another way – you would better spend your time somewhere else – anywhere else – on Isla Mujeres than to spend the 40 pesos for admission into La Hacienda Mundaca.

When the site described La Hacienda as a zoo, I interpreted that as present tense, but maybe something was lost in translation. Let me clarify – at one point, La Hacienda Mundaca was a zoo, but the only wildlife you are likely to see now are iguanas. And iguanas are fascinating for five minutes – we don’t have iguanas in Michigan – but iguanas does not a zoo make.

Iguanas at La Hacienda Mundaca

One animal the “zoo” had was the rare invisible panther, and that’s nothing to sneeze at.

Hacienda Mundaca, Isla Mujeres

I had never seen an invisible panther before. And, technically, I still haven’t “seen” one.

Panther cage, Hacienda Mundaca

I did like the stone carving surrounding the garden. Authentically piratey or not, the designs were cool. And the garden was semi-peaceful, just a few locals drinking beer. They had the right idea. Had the garden area been expanded, the trip to La Hacienda would not have felt like such a waste of time.

The gardens of La Hacienda Mundaca

Just a few stones are all that’s left of whatever grand mansion the pirate had.

Hacienda Mundaca, Isla Mujeres

The muck pen wasn’t too appealing. With work, this could be a beautiful little pond. As is, it’s just another unattractive “attraction”.

Mud pit at La Hacienda Mundaca

Oh, and let’s not forget about the other animals at the zoo: dogs. But they’re Mexican dogs, so they are semi-exotic.

Los perros

Enough ranting about the “zoo”. La Hacienda also boasted the reconstruction of a Mayan hut, complete with plaster figures of Mayans doing Mayan things.

Mayan hut

And there was a Spanish-style building with antique photographs of island scenes. Mildly interesting. And you can climb to the top to get a view of the “zoo”.

Hacienda Mundaca, Isla Mujeres

My goal is for you not to go to Hacienda Mundaca. There are far more interesting things to do, like eat, drink, and being merry. If you’re really, really bored, and you’re spending a week or more on the island, or you have to use the bathroom (they have some), okay. But if you were like Andrea and I, with only a few days to spare, the hour or so we spent there would have been much better spent doing other things.

Apparently, the estate is being restored. That is a long way off, trust me. I wish them luck, though. La Hacienda has potential, especially with its interesting history. But for now, best stick to the sunny beaches, comfortable B&Bs, and wonderful island restaurants.

What? I can feel the outrage from my millions of fans reverberating from across the Internet. Cheater! Cheater!

I’m doing it because, frankly, I don’t think that last post was very good.  So I’ve improved it, making it more focussed on the B&B and adding more pictures. Hopefully, you’ll enjoy the remake.

Cold Beer

No, no, the other one:

Quiet Time

That is what we were after for a four-day vacation away from the two-year old. And that is what we found at Villa La Bella, a beautiful B&B on Isla Mujeres, Mexico.

Villa La Bella, Isla Mujeres

The bar didn’t hurt either.

Villa La Bella, Isla Mujeres

The bar is where we went after meeting Curtis and Ashley, owners of Villa La Bella, who were greeted us at the hand-carved gate. He graciously gave me a tropical plastic plate for my bacon-wrapped Bimbo dogs and handed us a pair of margaritas in appropriately tropical coconut cups as he familiarized us with the B&B.

Lobby of Villa La Bella

Villa La Bella was a new kind of experience for us. We have always stayed at all-inclusive resorts when we vacationed to tropical destinations. Show up at the appropriate time, browse the buffet, get some sun, eat some more, and repeat until you leave.

But this was a true B&B. I’m covering the first B here, and I’ll get to the second B in a later post.

We stayed in the honeymoon suite, and the rumor among the other guests was that we were on our honeymoon. That rumor was false – Andrea and I have been married for over four years. But the brief flare of attention was nice.

Curtis showed us to our room located directly above the bar. Sounds noisy, but that was not the case at all. There was a resort-enforced quiet period between 10pm and 8:30 am, and I loved that because I needed the sleep. Did I mention the two-year old?

Honeymoon Suite

Our room was painted with the required tropical colors, because in Mexico, who wants a beige room? Beige is so… home.

Honeymoon Suite

Andrea was partial to the shower. It’s huge, and noticed the showerhead – it’s a conch shell. That is not something you will find at a Motel 6. They may leave the light on for you, but they don’t have knick knacks from the deep blue sea hanging from the ceiling.

When dawn came, our view of inky blackness and the pool of many colors was one of crashing waves and an inviting place to enjoy some sunshine on very white bodies.

View from the Honeymoon Suite

The bonus feature of the honeymoon suite is the extra balcony. Not only did we have the one directly above the bar, we had another one set with loungers perfect for privately laying in the sun. So if you butt needs some sunshine too, you can do so. Just keep low, the walls aren’t that high.

We stayed in early March, and it was windy all of the time. The surf was too rough for casual swimming – you’ve got to really, really want to be in the ocean to risk being pounded against the rocks. Villa La Bella is not a swimming resort, it’s a laying the sun resort, though there are several beaches on the island (duh) where you can relax on the sand.

Bella Beach

So we have already talked about returning. It was fantastic and a perfect little spot for a few days – or weeks – away from life in the north.

For a end-of-winter break, Andrea and I headed far south to the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. An easy three-hour flight from Detroit to Cancun filled with people on spring break was much more welcome than a plane full of children going to Disneyworld, let me tell you.

I like the speed at which Mexican customs officials move. The people at the resorts may move on “Mexican time”, but those customs guys sure don’t. We were about two-thirds of the way back, and though it took us about 20 minutes to get to the front, I was very happy with our speed through the line.

And as we were neared the front, we realized just how close to disaster we had come. Because from the gates came hundreds of people, several planeloads worth, filling up every queue in the building. It was with relieved pity that I looked back at those just arriving. But the term “better you than me” came to mind, and we were off.

As an aside, Cancun is in the Mexican state of Quintana Roo. Does anyone else think of kangaroos when they hear that name?

Mexico has an interesting way of randomly checking bags: The Button. There used to be a big traffic light that would illuminate when you pressed The Button, green means “go, enjoy your vacation”, red means “open that bag, jeffe.” They’ve refined the process, though. Pressing The Button lights up a fancy glass sign with red or green lights. Very modern the way they do it now.

Andrea had chosen USA Transfer as the method to get from the airport to Gran Puerto, the docks from which we would catch the ferry to Isla Mujeres. We stopped at the ATM, located just outside the customs area, to get mucho dinero before the maelstrom.

For those of you who have never been to Mexico, just outside the doors leaving the airport is The Horde. It’s better than it was, but there are a half-circle of people waving signs and trying to get you into their vehicles. The first time I arrived in Mexico, which was ten years ago, it was at a different terminal, and it was chaos. Now, it’s exuberant businessman trying to get your attention. And a little chaos.

We only had to wait a few minutes for our transportation to arrive, and we made the drive to the docks in darkness. I got to see a part of Cancun I had never seen before. The four previous trips I had gone south to Barceló Maya, near Playa del Carmen, but this one would be different, amigos.

The docks were relatively empty when we arrived around 8:00 PM. Andrea bought the $140 pesos round-trip tickets and I bought fries – that’s a fair deal, right? Knock one more McDonald’s off my list. 50 down, 50,000 to go.

We sat near the water, eating French fries (papas frites), waiting for the ferry to take us to our island B&B for a few days of relaxation. And the ferry made quite an introduction. Check out the cool under lights? It’s like a hoopty ferry!

The journey to the island was semi-peaceful. The constantly flashing TVs s

Ferry to Isla Mujeres

creens were annoying, but the water was calm and the trip took about fifteen minutes.

It was well past dinnertime when we arrived on Isla Mujeres, and Andrea had researched possible quick dinner spots. She found a great one – Bimbo dogs! There was a little hot dog stand only a hundred feet away from the dock entrance. Our dogs were wrapped in bacon and covered with grilled onions – oh, that’s the stuff right there.

A taxi stand was between the docks and the Bimbo dog cart, and we returned for a ride to our B&B. The trip cost just under $5 USD, which is slightly higher than the average cost, but it’s because there was luggage and, we found out later, because that taxi stand charges a passenger fee, something that is not normally applied on the island. Still, it was only $1 or $2 more than normal – not terrible.

Our taxi ride to the Villa La Bella was just a few minutes, and thus officially began our vacation.

Which is the next post. And many more pictures, too.

On the plus side, you do get a free trip, and if the medication you’re given works, then you win. What’s better than a trip to Mexico? A free trip to Mexico, that’ s what.  Just in case, though, I would pack some Imodium.

But Christmas also reminds me of the obvious thing: Mexico. Who doesn’t want to go south when it starts snowing? Sure, I enjoying trudging through snow-covered trails as much as the next masochist, but a nice warm weather vacation is a perfect winter break.

I’ve been to Barceló Maya four times. The first time was with friends the year I was laid-off (i.e. fired, as laid-off suggests I would be brought back) during the Dot Com bust. (That was the year I spent a month in Europe. Hey, I had the time. ‘Nother story.)

The second time was with then-girlfriend Andrea. I loved Barceló so much that I wanted to take her there, and she loved it too.

Which is good, because the third time was our wedding. So it would have really sucked if she hated the place AND had to get married there.

And the fourth time at Barceló Maya was our first trip with the then-one year old daughter. But we will not speak of that trip right now.

Every time, I’ve gone in early December because 1) the weather is nice and 2) the place is decked out for Christmas.

There is just something about palm trees decorated with Christmas lights to put me in the holiday season. If I had a palm tree, I would have lights on it year-round, and the neighbors would hate me. Along with the lights, the festive color of sunburned tourists really adds to the shades of green in the palm leaves. Lobbies with Christmas trees, Santa hats on lizards – what doesn’t Barceló have? It’s beautiful.

The third trip, my wedding, we stayed ten days, and at the end of our stay, the place really picked up. Whereas before we could quickly grab grub at the buffet lines, now there were a plethora of tourists ahead of us. The beaches were busier, as were the pools. If you ever decided to go to Barceló in December, I would advise going earlier in the month, before the big Christmas rush.

Not that there is necessarily a bad time to go to, but if you’re looking relax, I recommend Barceló Maya outside of the Christmas rush. It’s worth the trip just for the lizards and self-service piña coladas. Man I wish I had those at work.